I have been traveling a lot for the past few weeks. And I have been telling myself I am going to write a blog every day. Then eventually when my head hits the pillow at midnight… I just can’t. Honestly, I am exhausted.
I have to tell you, I am behind on my email. My face looks like I was punched five times with the dark circles under my eyes. I am not eating the way I should or working out as much as I would like. I am forgoing a lot right now for a cherished moment to just sit in bed, and stare at the ceiling.
- I have had so many people tell me to slow down. That this career of mine is impossible. I hear every day that when I have babies, I will need a change. I hear every day, that this is not something I will be able to manage for much longer. (PS – I think when a man works this hard at this age… he is driven and has potential, he is going somewhere, he is successful… I don’t know why the world is so concerned with my ovaries and telling me to sit down and act like a lady) Here is my advice to any of you who love something so much it makes you cry. If you love it chase it. Run with it like someone is going to steal it from you. If you really knew me, you would know this job makes me better. It forces me to constantly reflect and work on my heart to leave it on that stage. I experience challenges all alone at 2 in the morning and live to see another day almost every day. I think many people see me speak and look for the cracks. That is the way life works, we look for flaws in others and hide our flaws from the world. When you do something that makes you light up, you create light in the world. This world needs more light… today. Stop hiding and stop listening, just chase your light. Don’t let a single person tell you to not do something you know is right.
- My best friend Jennifer taught me one of the most important lessons this year. I think about it every single day. We were talking about spirit animals (because we talk about that kind of stuff) and she told me she wanted to be a buffalo… I thought, never have I ever herd a woman say she wants to be compared to a buffalo… She told me that when a buffalo senses a storm coming on the plains, it is the only animal that runs into the storm. Most others hunker down, or run away. A buffalo runs into the storm knowing it is stronger now then it ever will be. Knowing that if it takes all of it’s energy running away it will be weak once the storm hits. Knowing that when you run into the storm it will be intense but it will end faster then if you try to out run it – because you cannot out run the hard stuff in your life. I have been trying to run into my storm this year. I have been trying to use every last ounce of strength I have to get to the other side. Be a buffalo. People will look at you and wonder what in the heck you are you doing, but they would have run away. They will tell you that you are doing it wrong, because it is not the way they would have done it. But if you don’t live and breathe your truth you will drown. You will disappear.
- There is a song that I heard on the radio on my way to my first ever keynote when I first started at Phired Up.. I was speaking at the University of Kentucky that day. This song embodies my life, my career and this blog post. In Good Life by OneRepublic they say: Sometimes those airplanes I can’t jump out, Sometimes there’s bulls*!t the don’t work now, we are god of stories but please tell me what there is to complain about.” I believe that song. I fantasize daily that maybe this is gospel – and when you’re happy like a fool let it take you over – because this has GOTTA be the good life. I guess my biggest flaw is that I subscribe to all of the stupid quotes and BS songs that I deserve to be wildly fulfilled. The quotes that tell me I deserve to be happy. That it is possible for me to actually have it all. So here I am running into the storm… every time I see a problem I attack it… knowing this is the time in my life to focus on my career. Knowing that this is the strongest I will ever be. Knowing if a person cannot love and accept me for what I love about myself, they will never be in my circle. I am doing this because I want it so bad I can taste it. I am doing this because I want you to have everything you dream of. I will not settle. I will not settle for less in myself. I will not settle for less in my life. I will wait, I will sweat, I will cry, I will bleed, I will work… but I will get there.
I am stubborn and a rebel. If you tell me I cannot, I will rebel against your opinion stubbornly for the rest of my life… saying… watch me. You say stubborn like its a bad thing.
So I have been stupid enough to subscribe. But if you are with me, know that I am fighting for you. I pray that once I get there I can turn around and pull you in with me. I promise to map each step of my journey not because I think my life is fascinating… but because my life can be your lesson. I do love you. I want nothing more than for you to be happy… So I will go and test my limits and test my potential to teach you yours.