What does not kill you makes your stronger. We have all heard it, repeatedly. I blinked and August was over. Today is the 28th… I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. Here is the recap from August:
- First of all it has been amazing. I have been working on being awake and present with every given moment. Last year I focused too much on checking things off the list, packing perfectly, drinking water and eating perfectly, getting enough sleep and over all preserving myself for the next day, week and month. This year I barely got my head on straight before I took my Lyft to the Airport for 22 straight days of travel. This year I had the most earth shattering thought… I realized on a flight from Atlanta to Oklahoma that there is nowhere else I need to be… nothing to run back to, nothing to miss or wish for; and every moment I was thinking about all of the things I needed to be doing or wishing I was doing I was wasting another moment of actually being alive, and mattering to this world. It was terrifying and liberating. But if you really believe all of it… maybe everything is happening exactly the way it should. And maybe you are exactly where you should be right now – no matter how much it sucks or shakes you. So I am not preserving this year… I am emptying.
- Secondly, Every day has been crazy beautiful. Like… I found a strength I’ve never known. I have not had a ‘bad’ day. Well I had one… In Alabama, my phone would not stop restarting, I lost my BKR Water Bottle, I Lost my charger for my computer, and I broke a strap on my Neverfull… which I worked super hard for and I am not going to pretend like it is fine and totally replaceable. But I LOVE my curriculum I am teaching. I LOVE the message I am spreading. I have had countless moments where I am clearly thinking about new things to teach as words are coming out of my mouth… which is the highest level of awareness for speakers… just ask us! I am in love with all of these women I speak to… I see them and I see who I was, I see who you were, I see my best friends in each of them… I see love and the future and I am so proud of who they are and humbled that they picked me. I am proud of who I am, this August has reminded me that I can make it on my own – with nothing but a carry on and a computer bag… with a broken strap.
- Here are the awesome points! I have been to: The University of Georgia, The University of Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, The University of Arkansas, The University of Alabama, Louisiana State University, The University of South Florida, The University of Central Florida, Georgia Tech, The University of Mississippi, Florida State University, Texas A&M, The University of Texas, Montana State University, The University of Nevada – Reno, Texas State University, The University of North Carolina – Chapel Hill, Cal State Long Beach, Cal State Fullerton… and TODAY I am speaking at The University of Wisconsin – Madison. This August, I have watched women cry over the pain of losing a loved one – and take care of each other through that pain. I have watched these college students laugh at each other out of pure love and adoration. I have watched these young people get pissed off about the unfairness in the world and talk about their passion. Each of them spectacular, strong, broken and hand crafted to love. We need others. They remind me of this every day.
So I am out here – somewhere 36,000 feet above you on a plane, trying to be grateful for you, for the most beautiful life, and for the wherewithal to look back at my life and learn from the pain and the ugly to help these humans take another step forward. I’ve had to learn how to fight for myself… but I will fight for you – so you don’t ever feel alone. This is why I do this. So it has not killed me, no matter how much I empty out each day; and I have a feeling that the best is yet to come.