I am back because I believe I am not done yet. I don’t know why I ever started this blog, and I don’t know if anyone reads it or if everyone rolls their eyes when they do. But I know people asked me to come back and here I am. I don’t know where to take it from here. I don’t know if I should continue with posts about what to wear or continue with posts about where I am or continue with posts that make people feel… I don’t know.
Here is what I do know:
- I could not have done this without my friends. They elegantly and seamlessly stepped into my life and picked up every piece of me when I could not go another step further. They defended me vehemently. Y’all need to be there for each other. It is crazy to me how society tells you your entire life as a little girl that once you meet your prince (or princess) life is over, you’re done, happily ever after begins. And any magazine you pick up, or article you click on tells you how to nail the interview, pick the right eyelash extensions and keep the spice alive for your partner… but no one tells you how to be there for each other for the stuff that actually matters. This is the stuff that breaks you transforms your vibrant soul into scar tissue. As we get older we become more fearful. Only our people can defend our light. My mission, my drive, my life’s work has been to lead people to endless love and support of their people. My life just taught me a new level of it.
- This is my dark mark… but I know we all get them at some point. When I was young and 21 my mom always nagged me about tanning, and I laughed at her thinking I would never get wrinkles… that was stuff that happened to other people. Bad news, I thought that about cancer, divorce, diseases, infertility, and living a miserable life bound with fear. Then it all smacked me across the face. The darkness and the wrinkles. I thought we were untouchable, the beautiful shiny souls I collected as friends and confidants. They were too good and too wonderful to ever be noticed by the evil that happens in this world. I am back because I want you to know that when the wave hits you, you are joining an army of fierce, resilient, beautiful souls who know the pain of this world but have chosen to seek joy for one more day.
- I am back because I know too many people who are in joyless, miserable yet perfectly convenient and safe relationships, situations or lives. People who don’t think they have the courage or the strength to leave or to change it. Or people who think 75% is good enough for me. The fear of the darkness in the world keeps them in half light. You are worth the effort my sweet soul. You are worth wild beautiful happiness. You are not alone, and you will never be alone on this journey for bliss. I am back for the tears we all hide under our sunglasses in public spaces where we feel alone in a crowded room.
I am back because stupidly enough I believe that life gets better after challenges… Like I actually believe all the motivational quotes on Pinterest. I literally believe my life is about to be amazing and I am sitting in the middle of a field with my arms open and my eyes closed waiting for my next round of happy. Whether that is being a mom, changing my career, starting my own company or writing a book, maybe a beautiful marriage or maybe taking this whole thing to the next level of speaking and training amazing people. I am ready for the good and the hard and the ugly. I am a fighter, and I am back. I beat the devil and I out ran the demons, I picked myself and didn’t let judgement of others keep me quiet. I am a lucky girl.
Mostly, I am a lucky girl to have you listening to me and being in my life however you can. I honestly and seriously want to be a part of your life too, so don’t be afraid to reach out and let me in.