Wow, there have been so many changes and updates since I dropped off the Blogging Bandwagon! There are a trillion reasons why I stopped but let’s not start there…
I know this season of our lives is hectic. When the mass shutdowns began and my life came to a halt, I was the opposite of motivated, creative, enlightened or purposeful. I have spent the past 31 days depressed, sitting and staring, avoiding, numbing and hiding. I have been stuck. Something yesterday got me unstuck. It was actually Jessica, my old boss, and my dear friend (still to this day). This blog and her Facebook Live session yesterday with Kappa Kappa Gamma was the first time I felt like my old self… not myself today, but older than that… So here it is, chapter one of a long story. (and Thanks Jess, you are doing important things, and make people feel in meaningful ways)
On August 26, 2017, my divorce was on the table. The paperwork was floating in between myself and my old partner and ready for some final signatures and a receipt from a county clerk in Missouri. I was 25 days into a hectic travel season that would not end for another month, getting frequent reports of how bad I was doing at relationships with co-workers, and other elements of my job.. I lived in a new city (that I was never in) and owned a house that reminded me of every failure I had ever made. I was sick of everything I was and everything around me. I had to CHANGE. I dug myself into this black concrete hole, and only I could claw my way back out.
I made my first call to Pure Barre Corporate that day. I was in San Marcos, Texas, getting gas headed to the Austin airport, headed to LAX. After the conversation, they sent me a 10 page application and a list of finical benchmarks I had to possess, (which I didn’t). I took the next two months stabbing at the questions, making a business plan, putting together financial projections, creating a management structure and avoiding the huge giant elephant in the room. The fact that me a 32 year old, newly divorced lady could not in any way shape or form financially do this on her own (SO I THOUGHT). Then some time in November I just stopped… I met with a bank who specialized in SBA loans. I called a few other financial lenders and they all told me 10% of people who go down this road, actually get a loan. I became discouraged and depressed so quickly, thinking ‘How am I going to get out?’
*** Side Note. When you buy a franchise you need two things. 1) Cash on hand, liquid, in the bank… which I had from selling my home and moving into Hotel Parents. 2) You need a net worth of like, a lot. Like paid off mortgages and then some, which is hard for anyone at this age, unless you bought a home 5 years ago in the neighborhood Amazon just built in this year and then refinance or sell it… I’ve gone too far down this path…
I did do one good thing in that time period… I talked about it to my close friends. When they asked me the question all people ask when you get a divorce, ‘What are you going to do now?’ I would say to them, I am going to open a Pure Barre Studio back home. I laid myself a trap on purpose, because I am a person who does what she says she will do, because I am afraid of people judging me, I don’t want to be just a talker, and I had, Had HAD to get out, I could not stay.
I promise I will tell you how I financially did it. In the past three years I have been discourage, frustrated and downright angry at how much people refuse to talk to each other about the actual HOW you got there or how they made finances work for them. We all edit our story to leave in the brave pieces and remove the pleading pieces. We are all so filled with shame about money because we don’t have it or we do, it is stupid.
Today, I will tell you this, on December 28th 2018 (yes, 1 year and 4 months later… 489 days later to be exact), in the Seatac parking lot… I wired a huge chunk of my savings account to Pure Barre in exchange for a tiny thing. The seed that started my business. The rights to own a franchise. The assistance, the email address, the branding and the technique itself that changed my life. I spent almost 500 days feeling not good enough but also knowing I would prove to myself and anyone who believed in me I could do hard things.
Here is what I want to share in the next few posts, why I picked this specific business, how I financially did this, Why this mattered so much to me, and mostly ‘now what’ because we have been closed for exactly one month. I missed you all, and mostly I missed myself.